Kenneth W Daniels
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What to do about Christmas?

12/6/2011

 
It was inevitable. Having recently written about whether and how to celebrate Thanksgiving as an unbeliever, I’ve been asked what I think about Christmas.

Everyone has their (yes, “their”; I know full well I’m mixing a singular subject with a plural possessive pronoun, but you know it’s become generally acceptable when the 2011 NIV does this) own take on Christmas, and if you’re happy with how you do or don’t celebrate it, that’s fine; I’m just writing for those who’d like to know my take on it.

Quite honestly, with each passing year, I look forward to much of the season less and less. The corny musical TV commercials, the uninspiring and predictable Santa-themed movies and TV shows, the endlessly recycled music on the radio and in the malls, the Black Friday rat race, the social pressure to buy and exchange ephemeral trinkets, the over-stuffing of our calendar of events, the earnest “Reason for the Season” preaching, the awkwardness when it comes to figuring out how to respond to Christmas greetings--these experiences just don’t give me happy thoughts.

There’s a movement afoot among some unbelievers to celebrate the winter solstice without any religious trappings. This I presume is in recognition of the fact that the annual Christmas festivities just aren’t going to disappear and that the best way to beat ‘em is to join ‘em. I'm reminded of how the Catholic Church starting in the fourth century co-opted pagan winter solstice celebrations to celebrate Jesus’ birth in an attempt to pry away the people’s attention from pagan religion to the Christian religion. It seems to me that, whichever direction you go--from pagan to Christian practices or vice versa--it’s still rooted in religion or the supernatural, and I simply don’t identify with either one.

That said, there are aspects of the holiday season I enjoy, particularly the opportunity it affords us to get together with extended family members, to eat well, to watch a good movie (NOT a Santa-themed one), and yes (Grinch that I am), to delight my kids and a few friends with a well-selected gift or two. I’m not an anti-Christmas crusader like secular humanist leader Tom Flynn, nor do I ever plan to be; if people--even atheists--enjoy the season, what do I gain by seeking to douse their joy?

So how do I respond to those who wish me Merry Christmas? In past years, I haven’t hesitated to respond in kind, and I might continue to do that now and then. This year I might also try this rejoinder: “...and a Happy New Year to you!”

And what about those family gifts? Scrooge that I am, I’d really rather not spend money on unnecessary stuff--which is what most gifts are--while visions of the ten-year-old boy who died of malaria in the back of my pickup truck (or shortly after we arrived at the clinic) in Niger in 2000 for want of a $10 course of antimalarial medications dance in my head. This year, we’ve made a deliberate decision to cut down drastically on our superfluous gift-giving. Frankly, I’d rather just cut it out altogether, but you know, oh well; I don’t think my kids are ready that quite yet until I can indoctrinate them a little more :)

Happy (Early) New Year!
Holly
12/6/2011 08:34:35 pm

I've been "out of the closet" for almost three years but really an unbeliever for much longer. But I still love Christmas. For me it's the lights and decorations, yummy food, spirit of giving, and getting together with loved ones, and representtion of peace. I don't even mind that technically it's about the birth of Jesus because it's still just a symbol of peace (I know we could argue that). I still say "Merry Christmas" to those who I know it's meaningful to and don't really mind when people say it to me ( although I wrote a whole letter to our local newspaper last year in response to a pastor who took offence to a cashier wishing him "happy holidays." ) Maybe I'll get more grumpy about it as the years pass (I hope not) but for now I still love it, even Christmas carols in moderation. Easter, however, is another story. Totally different feeling and meaning for me.

Ken Daniels link
12/6/2011 09:42:44 pm

Thanks for your thoughts, Holly! I appreciate the balance you've given to my post. Perhaps I've let the good things about the season become drowned out by the things that cause me dismay, particularly the prodigious spending of money on those who already have it all, at least relative to the rest of the world. Perhaps I've let myself become unduly influenced by the likes of Tom Flynn (see link in original post). Last night after submitting my post, I reviewed some of the comments in response to Flynn's podcast and was struck by how many unbelievers objected to his stance on Christmas.

I'm going to make an effort this season to focus on the positives--the spirit of peace and good will, the family togetherness, etc.--while reining in my normal spending habits in order to be able to provide more for charity. As long as I can take part in some of the festivities without being overly confronted with "the reason for the season" message (which is historically dubious), then I'll be happy to participate.

Thanks again Holly for helping to temper my perspective! This is partly why I wanted to keep a blog--to provide a platform of give and take for those of us who've left the faith and struggle to know how to navigate in a largely believing world.

Terry
12/10/2011 11:44:20 pm

I think Holly has it right. Having just seen both "Miracle on 34th Street" and "Polar Express", I'm reminded that the spirit of the season begins within us. Ignoring as much as possible the crass commercialism that now begins after Halloween, I try to focus on the humanistic elements, sharing with others, celebrating with family and friends, even the heart-warming story of a babe in a manger (supernatural details expunged). I can still enjoy the Christmas carols I grew up with, even if I no longer embrace all the lyrics.

Unlike Holly, I still enjoy a sunrise on the beach at Easter, harkening back to the pagan origins of seasonal renewal. We can only hope that all those who profess to believe in the (several) versions of the Resurrection won't let their views keep them from doing the right thing in this life.

Colin Murphy link
12/19/2011 02:35:29 pm

I think all holidays follow a natural evolution, from the original meaning to the more modern or popularized meaning of today. How could one possibly object to taking "time out" to spend time with family, reconnect with friends, and let others know you are thinking of them with a simple card or gift? What atheist, in their right mind, could not get behind the sentiment of "Peace on Earth, Good Will Towards Men"?


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    Author

    Kenneth W. Daniels (1968-), son of evangelical missionaries, is the author of Why I Believed: Reflections of a Former Missionary. He grew up in Africa and returned as an adult to serve with Wycliffe Bible Translators in Niger on the edge of the Sahara Desert. While studying the Bible on the mission field, he came to doubt the message he had traveled across the world to bring to a nomadic camel-herding ethnic group. Though he lost his faith and as a result left Africa in 2000, he remains part of a conservative Christian family. He currently resides with his wife and three children in suburban Dallas, TX, where he works as a software developer.

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